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Today I caught myself thinking about something strange. About a year ago, in Tarot, I was represented by the Queen of Wands. Now I am the Queen of Pentacles. I don't know if I believe that Tarot predicts anything. Sometimes I do. Other times I think Tarot is simply a beautiful way of forcing us to look at what we already know but still can't quite say out loud. And maybe that's it. Because when I think about the woman I was a year ago, I recognise her immediately. But I no lo

Today I felt the need to remind myself of something. Changing direction doesn’t always mean I chose the wrong path. Maybe I simply changed. It’s strange to realise that. I spent so many years building a life, making plans, believing that some things would last forever. And then life happened. Some things stayed. Others disappeared. Some choices simply stopped making sense. And for a while, I confused that with failure. As if I had failed somewhere along the way. As if I had m

Today, I found myself thinking about a conversation I had. One of those conversations that seems simple in the moment, but quietly stays with us for days. We were talking about life, about paths, about choices, about all the things that transform us without us even noticing. And, in a moment of true honesty, a sentence came out of me that surprised me with its simplicity: “For the first time in my adult life, I feel that I am not in love with anyone.” I said it without sadnes

For months, I rowed against the current. There were days when I believed that if I rowed harder, the river would eventually give way. As if life could be persuaded by persistence. As if destiny would change course simply because I refused to stop. Today, I understand that the river was never against me. It was simply a river. And I was simply someone learning that not everything needs to be conquered. There are moments when the greatest courage lies not in fighting, but in le

There’s a strange moment that happens when someone asks, “So… what’s new?” Because the truth rarely fits inside a socially acceptable answer. No one is actually expecting you to say: “Well, I’ve spent the last few months unpacking decades of trauma, trying to teach my nervous system that not everything is a threat, grieving old versions of myself and learning how to exist without constantly living in survival mode.” So instead, we smile. Shrug. “Nothing much.” And I think it’

My sweet girl, Come a little closer… there’s no rush. Rest your head against my chest and stay here with me for a while. Can you feel it? This is a place where you can finally rest. I know… I know how hard you tried to be brave when everything inside you just wanted to be held. I know how you smiled when you felt like crying, how you acted strong when, deep down, you were just a little girl needing tenderness. You don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m here. Right here. If you lo

Resignify It’s not forgetting. It’s not painting over it until it sounds good enough to tell. It’s looking at what hurt, straight on, without flinching, and deciding you’re not going to live there anymore. Not because it didn’t happen. Because it’s no longer yours. It took me a long time to understand the difference between carrying the past and learning from it. They’re completely different things. One weighs you down. The other holds you up. There are things I lost that are

Today he would turn 67. He left at 63, with all the irreverence that was so uniquely his. As if he had walked out in the middle of the party, before anyone could say it was time to go home. The tears come. Missing his voice, those laughs that asked no one’s permission, that filled every room they entered. The silly jokes delivered with the seriousness of someone revealing the secrets of the universe. His perfume, which i still keep with me and spray every now and then, just t

On Easter Sunday morning, the day Christians celebrate resurrection, life returning, death being defeated, I was choosing my father’s coffin. Alone. While bells were ringing somewhere, I was looking at wood. Running my hand over different finishes, listening to someone talk about prices and details as if any of it made sense. As if there were a right way to do this. As if it were possible to choose “well.” It’s hard to explain what that does to your head. The disconnection. T

I look back and i can’t count how many times i’ve died. I’m not talking about drama. I’m talking about the real thing: that moment when one version of you simply stops existing. Without ceremony. Without warning. Sometimes in the middle of a sentence, sometimes in a dawn you never asked for. Every major change in my life has brought a death with it. And i, naively, sometimes thought it was just a transition. A phase. Something that would pass. But it doesn’t pass like that. I

Today, in the warm silence of the shower, a thought found me without asking permission. And suddenly, the tears came. Not the kind you choose, but the kind that fall on their own and steal the air from your lungs. How is it possible to live twenty years with someone... twenty years!... learning how to be friends, how to be shelter, how to be a team? To be a whole woman. To be a wife. To help each other cross life. To raise children side by side. To invent routines, memories,

I need you to hear this first: I love you. I love you more than anything, more than words can hold. I hope you feel it, even when i’m quiet, even when life gets messy, in the way i think about you, in the way i worry about you, in the way you’re always in my heart. This past year has been so hard. The separation, the divorce, moving… trying to figure out a new way to live. That’s a lot for anyone. And for you, my sensitive, kind, amazing girl, it must have felt like the groun

There are seasons when it feels like life is quietly undoing everything you worked so hard to build. The plan you trusted no longer fits. The timeline you committed to stretches beyond recognition. What once felt certain now feels strangely out of reach. It’s tempting, in those moments, to believe you’ve missed a turn, that you’re behind, off course, or somehow failing the vision you held so clearly. But what if this phase isn’t a mistake or a setback? What if it’s a refining

It didn’t destroy me. It exposed me. It showed me how often i was outsourcing my grounding. How easily i handed my center to love, to attention, to being understood. How much weight i expected other people to hold for me. This year wasn’t about heartbreak. It was about responsibility. I lived intensely. I loved fully. I didn’t dilute myself to be digestible. But i learned the hard way that intensity without self-rooting becomes survival mode. That passion without internal saf

Christmas arrives this year like a slow, aching melody, layered, textured, alive. Not a song for the radio, a song for the chest, for the places that cracked open and learned how to breathe again. For so many years, Christmas carried a weight. A deep, dragging gravity. I blamed the empty chairs, the missing faces, the names that no longer answered when called. And yes, absence leaves a bruise. Silence has its own language. But that was only the surface harmony. Beneath it liv