Me...

It's not your anxious attachment

It's your emotional avoidance

Not theirs...yours

You don't attract avoidant people because you're too needy

You attract them because you're unavailable to your own emotions

You want someone to hold your emotions

But you can't even hold them yourself

You want deep intimacy

But you abandon your sadness the second it shows up

You numb your rage

You spiritualize your grief

You analyze your pain instead of feeling it

And so you call in partners

Who do the same

They don't ignore you because you're too much

They ignore you because you're a match for distance

For detachment

For disconnection

You will never be able to connect deeply with someone else

Until you've created a relationship with your own emotional world

You can't hold space for someone's anger

If you've never held your own

You won't recognize someone's vulnerability

If you've buried yours beneath performance and control

Healing starts inward

Not with finding someone secure

But with becoming the one who no longer abandons themselves

That's when intimacy becomes real

That's when your nervous system stops chasing

And starts choosing