You are forgiven

You cancel your next client call with a soft excuse.

Say you're running behind.

But really, you just sat in your car for twelve minutes gripping the steering wheel like it's the only thing holding you together.

You close tabs

Check Slack

Put on mascara

You know how to perform the part.

Boss Lady, Lady Boss they say...

Leader.

Held-together woman.

But deep down?

You're exhausted from living in two different worlds.

There's the one you lead.

And the one you actually live in.

You refill the fridge before the kids come home.

Wipe the counters twice.

Fix the throw pillows.

Everything looks fine.

Because if it looks fine, maybe it is.

But behind all of it, you're asking questions you don't even say out loud anymore.

"Was it really that bad?"

“Maybe I overreacted."

“Maybe I should've waited. Tried harder. Held on longer."

You don't trust your own feelings.

Not fully. Not yet.

You gaslight yourself now because life trained you so well you don't even need anyone in the room anymore to doubt yourself.

But let me tell you what you need: You need forgiveness.

Not from him.

Not from your kids or you family.. From you.

For staying.

For leaving.

For deciding to divorce.

For shrinking.

For all the ways you turned yourself down just to keep the peace.

For choosing you again.

You weren't wrong.

You weren't weak.

You were surviving in a system that rewarded your silence.

And you?

You did what you knew.

You protected your kids. You held the house.

You held everything.

But you stopped holding yourself.

You don't need to explain your why...

You need to forgive yourself.

Forgive her for trying so hard.

For making it make sense

For trying to be palatable, helpful, perfect, low-maintenance.

For staying loyal to a version of life that slowly erased you.

For deciding to move on.

I know you did everything you could.

I really know.

And so do you. You are allowed to let go now.

You are already forgiven!